


Evermore

by ko_chan



Category: Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: F/M, Grief, Pining, rebellious birds, red crackle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 19:57:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18431027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ko_chan/pseuds/ko_chan
Summary: Her absence stung more than an open wound





	Evermore

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is based off the song “Evermore” sung by Dan Stevens. Give it a listen to if you can, it totally makes you think of Gray’s thoughts about Black Sheep after she leaves V.I.L.E.  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Carmen Sandiego

It felt like Gray’s world stopped turning when he returned to V.I.L.E. Academy to hear the news that Black Sheep defected. At first, he was sure he heard wrong—that Coach Brunt was lying—but Black Sheep’s empty bed and her neglected nestling dolls was like an angry slap to his face that he couldn’t deny.

Gray sat in the room that was given to him, the darkness shrouding his face. He held Black Sheep’s nestling dolls in his hands, caressing the features of the biggest doll. In his time of V.I.L.E, he had become a successful thief—a league all of his own. He was on a constant high with his riches and achievements—nothing could bring him down.

Then Black Sheep was gone, and he felt as if someone stabbed him. If he closed his eyes, he could still see her smiling face. He wondered when was the last time he really thought about her smile? He spent all this time thinking about himself and his success, but maybe he should’ve thought about Black Sheep’s feelings. Maybe instead of blocking her out, he should’ve let her in.

All his feelings for her flooded him, drowning him in sorrow and regret. He tried so hard to bury his feelings for her, but she made her way into his heart and stole it for her own.

Now she was gone, and the pain of her absence suffocated him, making it difficult to bear.

However, the ghost of her remained, reminding him how alone he really was, and he remembered her smile, her laugh, her courage—he knew despite Black Sheep leaving, these memories he had of her would never leave him. He felt both happy and bitter, knowing that even though she was gone, Black Sheep would somehow still stay with him. The memories of her both soothed him and caused him torment, and there was nothing he could do about it.

A sound of a boat drifted into his ears, and Gray jumped up quickly.

“Black Sheep?” he whispered, heart skipping a beat. Had she returned?

He quickly made his way to the window, but there was no boat at the docks, and Gray knew he was deluding himself, but he held onto the hope that Black Sheep was going to show up at any second so they could be together again. He clutched the windowsill desperately, wishing beyond hope that she would be there.

Nonetheless, there was no Black Sheep, and Gray was left picking up the pieces of his broken heart. Was this his fate? Always waiting for her to come back to him? Anger at her abandonment filled him. He wanted to curse her like she had cursed him with her memories. He knew Black Sheep’s memory would live on through him for the rest of his life whether he liked it or not.

Yet… he couldn’t bring himself to curse her. He loved her with all his heart, with everything he had. Even if she was gone, he couldn’t let his memories of her fade. If he let Black Sheep’s memory fade, he’d be nothing but a shell of himself. He closed his eyes again, knowing that even though she was far from his reach, he could still feel the remnants of her presence in his mind.

Gray knew that he couldn’t let that die.

“It’s funny, Black Sheep.” He whispered, looking at the horizon, as if she could somehow hear him. “Even though you’re gone, I still remember everything I learned from you. You still inspire me and make me want to make you the happiest girl in the world.”

A melancholy smile made its way to his face. He still loved her despite everything she’d done. He still wanted to be with her and make her happy—happier than anyone else.

He went back to his bed, gazing at the nestling dolls on his nightstand. Again, he was seized by a hope she would return to him, but he knew he was fooling himself. He grasped the nestling dolls gently, laying it on his pillow, staring at them until he fell asleep, dreaming of what if he had come back to Black Sheep sooner or if they had run away together in Morocco. Her smile was bright as he took her hand, making his heart swell with warmth.

Gray smiled in his sleep, finally at peace she was with him evermore.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it!


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